2014年10月31日金曜日

Kisses from Katie

I'm really excited to read her book.

Something bigger

I used to think I want to have a family and be a mum but maybe that's not what God has for me. Something bigger than I can imagine?

Katie's story is so encouraging.

https://amazima.org/about-us/katies-story

Have faith

When I need "Kiai" (motivation), I do a French Twist. It helps me to feel motivated and I love it that I can show my cross tattoo on my neck. 気合の意味を辞書で調べてみた。「緊張感を高め、精神を集中する。」気合が必要な時は、夜会巻きをやると背筋がピンとする。首にある十字架のタトゥーが見えるのも好き。

My doctor said "Have faith in what you do. Be confident with your life." お医者様にこう言われた。「気持ちを強くもつこと。自分の人生に自信を持つこと。」

2014年10月30日木曜日

"Never regret anything that makes you smile




I love this. "Never regret anything that makes you smile." 

This made me think "What makes me smile?"

When I have lessons with my students and when they're happy. That makes me smile. 

When Kou is happy. I love playing with him.

This storm will only make me stronger. 

New bracelets


My new bracelets from Coco's Handcrafted Jewelry. I received these yesterday!

Hi Ben!

Carrie and I at Starbucks. I hope I get to meet Carrie's friend Ben sometime in the near future. 

Such a blessing for me

His little crate.

I was able to sleep without taking sleeping pills for two nights in a row. Kou is such a blessing for me.

A cat tower for Kou.

A pink pillow.

Isn't this cute? A new toy for Kou.

I almost gave up on having him because my family was very angry about my decision to have him. I had to say goodbye to him on Tuesday. I was crying so hard when I left Chiaki-chan's house. She has been helping me to adopt Kou. 

I gave up on many things in my life. Marriage, having a family, being a mum, leaving my cats and dog in the States, losing Hana Rose and being with Yuuri. I don't want to give up on Kou. The only thing keeps me going is that the fact I can be his mummy and see him grow. I can't give up on him. I just can't do that.

I can't wait to be his mummy officially on Sunday! 2 more days! 

2014年10月29日水曜日

French Twist

I can't just dwell on the negative feelings and it's a brand new day today! The weather is so lovely.

I thought I'll do a French Twist, put the mascara on, wear red lipstick and wear high heels. It does make me feel different. I guess it's more classy than wearing converse shoes. ;)

I've had pretty bad experiences in my life especially in the twenties so I believe this storm will only make me stronger.

2014年10月27日月曜日

My baby Kou is here!


Look at him! Isn't he adorable? I mean, seriously!

So happy to have him! Our first day together!

You know mummy loves you, right? Kisses and hugs?

It was so lovely to have him last night! I thought I can't welcome him as my baby until Tuesday so I was so excited when I found out he can come to my place last night! 


2014年10月26日日曜日

Tonight!

I found out I can have Kou tonight! I don't have to wait until Tuesday! Tonight!

Don't judge me for who I am

I really think this is true. "Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes." その人の立場になっても、分からないことってある。だから分かったふりは浅はかだと学んだ。

2014年10月25日土曜日

Meet Kou!

I went to Southerly and heard my friends were looking for somebody to adopt cats on Friday night. I wasn't sure if I could have him. Today, I went to Chiaki-san's house and met him for the first time.

Love at first sight! Look how tiny he is! He is about two months now. 

When I held him, I found a sense of peace for the first time after losing Hana Rose.

I can't wait for him to come to my place and have him as my baby. I already named him. His name is 幸. Kou means happiness and blessing in Japanese. He touched my heart.

I can't wait for him to wear these.

The past few years have been very tough for me. I have no idea how I survived it. God is always there for me but I was away from Him. God gave me Kou. He gave me peace and a sense of purpose. God made me a mummy. Thank you Jesus.

So sweet

Exactly 4 years ago today! I miss Chiari and her son.

Be myself more

"If you're upset that I'm just being myself, I'm going to be myself more." - Taylor Swift I love her!

So reassuring

Proverbs 23:18

Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

So reassuring.

I will always love you

This is my prayer for Hana Rose.

6 years ago!

I love timehop! Shokora and Bajiru are so pretty!

Rose with paper

At the clinic, making a rose with the waiting paper. I'm getting good at this.

2014年10月24日金曜日

Nana-chan

Nana-chan is so talented!

My new charm!

My new charm! I can't find my iPhone sometimes but now there is no way I can't find it because it's so shinny!

Shokora and Bajiru

Exactly 6 years ago today! They are so pretty!

Faith



I just looked up the meaning of "Faith" and it says "Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing."

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure we will get what we hope for. It is being sure of what we cannot see.

2014年10月22日水曜日

Roses and butterflies

Rose and butterly rings. These have special meanings for me.

Baby powder for Hana Rose

My friend Joy gave me the present for Hana Rose. She is so sweet. It made me cry and I am so moved by her kindness.

Strawberries!

These socks are so cute! I love Japan!

観たいな

I really want to watch this film. It looks like a good film.

Life

On a rainy day like this, I'm pondering about life. こういう雨の日って、人生について考えちゃう。

Osteoporosis

It's a lovely day to read a book at Starbucks.

Today's new word for Kanako - osteoporosis. 20 years of learning English, I still don't know some medical words in English. Learning and learning. I need to be patient.

Cats!

This is so true for me!

Tada! 

If I have a loving cat with me, I will be happy! I still prefer a Shiba uni though but I think cats are great. ;)

Became a butterfly

Love this!

I can totally relate to this. God is working in my heart and I feel happier and I feel free.

The Angelus

I love this Millet's painting so much. I can see they are sincere and see their appreciation for God.

I love collecting magnets!

2014年10月21日火曜日

Flowers for Hana Rose

For my baby Hana Rose. I love the colours. I hope she likes these flowers too.

Dinner with mum

Mum left here to go back to Aomori today. We had dinner together last night. I miss her already.